The Thinning Tether
I hesitate to write about how I’m feeling during quarantine. I want so badly to be positive and upbeat, bordering on Pollyanna-ish, but my outlook is being tested as of late. Work on editing my memoir has settled into the doldrums. It’s not for lack of material. It feels like I’m in mile twenty-four of a marathon and I’ve hit a wall. Not close enough to get the final kick, yet far enough down the path that I can’t quit.
I’ve been so focused on generating content for the book that other tasks, like editing, feel like a slog. It’s all part of the process and the closest thing I’ve got to a job so I’ll get there.
What’s really bugging me is the sensation I’ve reached the end of my personal allotment of coping mechanisms. I have nearly forty years experience with hanging out at home. I have a lot of hobbies, love to cook, read and when pressed, will even clean. For crying out loud, I’m tapped. Just because I can do all the things that keep boredom at bay, doesn’t mean I have the mojo to keep at it for months.
I know, I know, it could be worse. I’m healthy and I don’t take that for granted. I need to lighten my own mood. The news is terrifying if you watch/read a lot of it. I’ve tried “news distancing” but it’s tough in a 24-hour news cycle. One thing I am over: People writing BREAKING on their tweets as if they are an actual news source. What’s with that?
I thought I’d put this out there to see if anyone else is handling the pandemic with a renewed sense of “We’re all in this together.” Or if you’re like me and you’re depleted in the ideas department. Just to be clear, I am nowhere near despondent. Simply in the mood to whine. I walk, play a little tennis, sew, write, read and Zoom.
I’m going to take a few days off from these non-strenuous tasks and conduct a personal retreat. I’ve been to the grocery store (masked, of course) and cooked last night to provide me sustenance for three days. In other words, I need a break from doing nothing and will switch to being intentional. I’ll report from Nirvana when I return.
Enjoy your midsummer days,
Colleen
