Joy Times Four
Absolutely nothing is as we expected it this year, including Mother’s Day. My daughter and grandson had to play “Ding Dong Ditch” when they delivered the card and beautiful flowers shown above. Sure, we could’ve broken the stay at home orders currently in place but I’d rather have these gifts than an accidental case of COVID-19.
Griping about the pandemic, which is clearly out of my control, is not a good use of this space or my mental resources. Instead, I want to gather my thoughts of gratitude.
When I was a little girl, I decided I wanted to have four children when I grew up. Fortunately, I met someone who was amenable to my grand plan. When I was twenty, baby number one arrived, a few years ahead of schedule. I stomped and kicked at having to adjust my timetable. Once I laid eyes on that precious face, however, I was instantly humbled. “You are not in charge of timing” said the ancient eyes set in the body of my newborn. “I am here to fulfill my own destiny.” I shook at the sheer responsibility of mothering. My son, swaddled in the generic pink and blue striped receiving blanket gave me a quick thumbs up and whispered, “You’ve got this.”
Fortunately for me, I had the world’s most gifted child, speaking upon birth. I made a lot of newbie mistakes with my son, but he turned out amazingly well. He bought me these wonderful flowers for Mother’s Day and thirty-eight years later he and I continue to get along famously.
Eager to have my son enjoy the sibling experience, my husband and I chose the month of May for the next baby’s birth month. As my due date drew near, I was offered an induction. I grabbed it and delivered my daughter naturally, but by appointment. She was not impressed by me exerting my timetable on her arrival and told me so. She said, between wails, “Geez, Mom. I know you were eager to meet me, but my birthday was supposed to be my choice.” She continues to assert herself to this day, and I’m incredibly proud of her.
The time came around to add to our family and fill up our recently purchased minivan. I chose March as a good birth month and tried to back off. Nine months later and a week overdue, I chilled. On her own time, another daughter arrived. She smiled and said, “See? I knew you could do it. You’ve got this mom thing down.” She has grown to be happy and confident, a spark of energy.
Feeling smug at this point, I decided to re-think the whole four kids thing. I felt content, settled and my control over my fertility was firmly established. We had two perfect kids and my .5, my baby, was an absolute delight. Yes, we were set.
When my youngest child was fifteen months, I became pregnant unexpectedly. I went through the whole stomping and kicking process again, this time more shocked than the first. “What do you mean I can’t pick the birth month this time too?” I shook my fist at the Universe. Nine months later and three days before his sister’s second birthday, a beautiful baby boy arrived. He yawned, stretched and looked me in the eye. “You’ve given me this wonderful family to be born into. You are not in charge of timing, I think this proves it. We’re all here now. Thanks for waiting for me.”
He was a wonderful baby and has grown into a terrific man. The six of us had a Zoom Mother’s Day hangout today and I was inspired to write this post out of sheer and total gratitude for the Fab Four who call me Mom.
I am truly blessed,
~Colleen
